Seyði-Grim

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Written in fornyrðislag by Magnús hvalmagi

On August 26, A.S. 48, an unruly skald from the shire of Anglespur laid a false and outrageous claim on lands held by His Excellency Pierre. He brazenly challenged our warriors to take it back by force, wrongly confident in his ability to defend his stake.
On September 2, A.S. 48, a great gathering was held on the land known as Collins Park in the Barony of Concordia of the Snows. There a great battle happened. This is the tale of that battle.

Scold the skald -
the skull-empty[1]
hero of geese[2]
who gandered[3] long
at the great throne[4]
of thane of Snows -
he planned to seize
for himself that prize!

Success he found -
or so he thought -
with tiny flags[5]
to tag the plot
of prized land of
privy exalted -
seat of Baronial
business urgent.

The goose-flock
flew with haste,
fled that house
of foolish plan
fast and far;
a few remained -
some fowl stayed
for friend in lieu[6]

Boasted loud
the loon of shire:
"This land I claim
and call it...this land!"[7]
The Baron spoke
to brazen skald:
"No friend nor fowl
nor flag I see.

"Your claim is foolish,
and fraught with peril."
The sword-oaks[8]
assembled at once,
to chastise
the teller of lies
and make late
the meter of words.

Stabbed to death
by storm of blades,
matchless the skills
of skald...at dying.
Said of Snow-Lands
"They saved the spot!"
And of Grim the Skald?
His goose was cooked.

© Peter Olsen

  1. meaning both bald and witless
  2. Grim said that several geese witnessed his claim; the geese remain silent on the matter.
  3. The word also means "simpleton."
  4. Toilet humor. There was a brief foray into the idea of invading the Baron's bathroom.
  5. "Do you have a flag? No flag, no country!"
  6. A play on words that works when read aloud - "friend in loo," continuing the bathroom humor.
  7. If you don't understand this reference, ask someone to explain it to you. You won't regret it.
  8. A kenning for "warrior."
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